


Who said anything about falling in love?

by Owlpig



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Aliens, Angst, Character Death, Fluff, Implied Sips/Sjin, M/M, Smut, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 04:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1731908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlpig/pseuds/Owlpig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sjin and Xephos are two aliens who a while back crashed down in Minecraftia after their planet was destroyed. They both teamed up with separate partners and endured many adventures until they ended up here, on an idyllic farm together. Being the only ones of their race they feel extra close to each other and soon they fall hopelessly in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Crash Land

**Author's Note:**

> [8tracks](http://8tracks.com/superwhowl/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3) This is a mix with all the songs I listened to whilst writing and the songs that are the chapter titles. You should totes listen to the song for each chapter.
> 
> (PS. If you draw something inspired by this, please [link it to me](http://doctorwhowlpig.tumblr.com/ask) because I'll love it and maybe put it in the fic if you want)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crash Land - Twin Atlantic

“You know sometimes I think of home... It’s been so long.” Xephos sighed as he lay in the grass under the moonlight. It was silent around them, but for the slight buzz of insects and a faint wolf howl in the distance.

“I miss it. Everyone, family, friends. I have Sips now though, well, had, I miss him as well...” Sjin replied quietly from Xephos’ right.

“Well you have me, we have each other, and the farm of course”, Xephos said cheerfully and Sjin relaxed, but the thought of his home planet still lingered.

***

Come on and start please, I cannot deal with this now, he thought as his panic level increased significantly. He slammed his hand into the control panel hoping that it would somehow help his spacecraft fly. He could hear muffled screams and explosions in the distance and he hit the panel once again. Suddenly, the spacecraft began to whizz and all the controls and buttons lit up. With a sigh of relief he ascended into the air, maximizing the thrusters and leaving his burning home planet Salacia behind. Where the hell should he go? He’d never planned for an apocalypse, he had barely travelled in space at all.

“Where is the closest colony?” He asked the spacecraft AI. Thank god it wasn’t a real person, he should know this from school but he never really paid attention.

“There is a mother ship located in the galaxy Cillus.” He sighed. Why did they only have one inhabitable planet in their galaxy? It made everything so much harder.

“Can you take me there?” He hoped for a positive answer, but since he had never travelled very far with his ship he wasn’t sure of its capabilities.

“There is a 70% chance of failure with that route.” He gritted his teeth, but it was his only option.

“Confirm route.” The spacecraft shifted its direction and blasted away at hyper speed. The whole cabin was shaking and he was unsure if this was how it should feel. Trying to relax, he leaned back in the seat and awaited the journey ahead of him. After only a few hours the shaking became more intense and red lights began to blink inside the cabin of the spacecraft.

“Navigational systems failed to stabilize.” The AI stated and he threw out his hands in the air.

“What?! What is that even supposed to mean? Can I fix this?” He asked, panicking slightly.

“Navigational systems failed to stabilize, planned route unable to reboot.” He let out a frustrated shout and slammed his hand into the control panel. Suddenly the spaceship began to move rapidly in a different direction than before, clinging onto his seat he could feel the G-force increase. The last thing he could think before passing out was that he couldn’t believe that he, Sjin the Architect, would die in this stupid way.

 

***

The sound of screeching birds and rolling waves awoke Sjin. His body was aching and was wet in most places, except his back which was stinging peculiarly. When he slowly began moving his limbs one by one he could feel that he was laying on sand. His throat felt sore and his lips were dry so he drew the conclusion that he’d been lying here for a while. Bracing himself he slowly opened his eyes, taken by surprise by the bright sunlight. Shielding his eyes and looking down on the ground he slowly got up on his knees. There were a couple of pieces of scrap metal he recognised from his spacecraft. It had an emergency system, shooting out the passenger if it was crashing inside a breathable atmosphere. So here he was, stranded on a beach, on a foreign planet, with nothing, not even clothes, he realised. Some of them must have fallen off, the others were in rags. He threw it all on the ground in a pile, thinking maybe he could use it later. Stranded naked on a beach, even better.  
He looked around, to where the beach ended a forest started and it seemed very fertile with various kinds of plants. Picking up what was left of his clothes he headed towards the forest, hoping that it would be the best place for getting supplies. He picked up sticks from the ground as he walked by, hoping they’d serve some use later on. The brightness of all the colours surprised him, the sky was so blue and clear, nothing like the foggy atmosphere of his home planet. But he didn’t get to think that for long until clouds began to fill up the sky, the world darkening and the warmth quickly gone. The rain began pouring down and he stumbled through the trees searching for shelter. Finding a small burrow under a fallen tree he hunched down and wrapped his wet rags around himself the best he could. He missed home already, this wasn’t what he wanted at all. He was freezing cold, shivering under a log on an unfamiliar planet.  
The heavy thump of footsteps made him alert, listening close beyond the sound of the splattering rain and squinting his eyes towards the direction of the sound. A shadow appeared from in between the trees, soaking wet, carrying an axe over their shoulder. They were humanoid, fairly short, but sturdy, the face was hard to see in the weather conditions. Sjin drew the conclusion that they weren’t a threat, so he slowly crawled out from under the log.

“Please help”, he said in the common language of the universe. The figure stopped and looked at him.

“Well hello there”, the figure replied with a smooth voice and a peculiar accent. He eyed Sjin up and down before chuckling loudly.

“Why haven’t you got any clothes dude?” He asked.

“Well... They’re here but torn to pieces.” Sjin replied. The other person nodded and took his shirt off, handing it to Sjin.

“Here you go, I’m Sips by the way, the guy, the best guy.” Sips said smiling. Sjin grabbed the shirt, relieved by the slight warmth it gave.

“I’m Sjin”, he replied, unsure how to proceed.

“Well, let’s get that nice butt of yours some warmth Sjin. And you need to tell me where the hell you’re from because I’ve never seen anyone like you around here.” Sips said jokingly and lead the way through the forest.  
Sips’ house was a small, sparsely decorated wooden hut. Sjin sat down on the small bed not sure about what to do with himself.

“Hand me that shirt and I’ll hang it to dry.” Sjin did what Sips asked and wrapped the bed’s blanket around him instead. Sips hung the shirt by the fireplace, and in its red light Sjin studied the man closer. Sips’ skin was pale grey and his chin was covered with dark stubble that turned into a black bowl cut as it reached his ears, his torso was muscular due to the nature of his work but his grey eyes gave him a soft, friendly expression.

“Here I have some soup you can have. You look like you need to eat.” Sips said, filling up a bowl from the pot hanging over the fire. Sjin accepted it gratefully, he didn’t really need to eat – his metabolism was extremely slow – but the warmth of the food was very satisfying. Sips sat down on a chair opposite to him.

“So buddy, where are you from?” Sips asked.

“Pretty far from here... Very far, but my planet got destroyed.” Sjin replied quietly.

“Ah shit, that doesn’t sound good. So you’re basically homeless now? I mean you can sleep in my bed, but it’ll be a bit tight.” Sips said encouraging. Sjin smiled at him, he already liked this guy.

 ***

“Yes I’m glad I have you.” Sjin said and turned his head towards Xephos.

“It’s always nice to have someone that understands. I mean, sure Honeydew is far away from his kinsmen, but he could return one day, you know. We never could, it’s all gone...” Xephos said, facing Sjin, their eyes lighting up their faces slightly, blue like the dark sky above them. For a moment time seemed to stop.

***

“Commander Xephos, board your starshooter and head towards the Enterprise in Cillus. That’s the rendezvous point.” Xephos nodded at his captain’s command. The alarms of the base were blaring loudly and around him people were hastily boarding their spacecrafts, trying to get away before the meteor storm hit. He climbed into the cockpit of his own ship, checking that everything was working properly and that he had enough fuel and supplies. He started the engine and ascended up in the air, flying through the gate of the hangar. The air was filled of people trying to escape the settlement in time. Xephos navigated the atmosphere skilfully and out into open space. He flicked the switches and put on the thrusters to activate hyper speed.

“Autopilot, take me to Cillus.” Xephos demanded. The navigational computer responded by shooting the spaceship into the direction of the neighbouring galaxy. Well it wasn’t the neighbouring galaxy really. There was another a little bit closer but more to the left, Choeros, but since they didn’t have any sort of colonies there it was no point going in that direction. Xephos leaned back in his chair pretty content, letting out a relieved sigh. Sure there would be casualties, sure their home planet would be destroyed, but there were loads of people already in other colonies on other just as inhabitable planets so there was not really anything to worry about. Now he just had to meet up with the other space officers and everything would be okay. Closing his eyes and putting his hands behind his head he proceeded to enjoy the rest of the journey. It went fine until a big crash threw him out of his seat violently and he screamed like a child. Warning lights began blinking on the control panel and Xephos swore loudly. Of course he had, in his stupidity, forgotten to activate the automatic radar who kept him from crashing into things.

“Spacecraft has been hit by asteroid. Most of craft still intact but the fuel container is damaged we are flung out of course. You will have to emergency land on a foreign planet.” The AI told him. He put his face in his palms.

“Fucking shit, okay what is the closest planet, take me there and I’ll figure something out.” He said, trying to remain calm.

“The closest inhabitable planet is Overworld. It contains hostile, friendly and intelligent life forms.” Xephos scratched his beard, taking a second to think.

“Well it’s my best option, fuck it, I’m going there.” Xephos replied and the ship continued its voyage but in a different direction and a much shakier way. He could soon see the planet appear and he tried his best to slow the spacecraft down but due to the damage he could only do so much. Bracing himself for the landing he watched as the ground came closer and closer. The spaceship landed in a snowy hill, it wasn’t too rough of a landing but Xephos still flew out of his seat once again. He was only a bit bruised but the ship was in an even worse shape now. Xephos opened the cockpit and climbed out of the spacecraft onto this strange new planet.

***

“Hello?” A voice suddenly asked him from behind his back. He turned around and saw a short person with a ginger beard and a horned helmet standing in the snow.

“Uh, hi. Could you please tell me where I am? Xephos asked the little fellow.

“In Minecraftia of course!” The man smiled widely, revealing a gap between his front teeth.

“And who are you?” Xephos was surprised by the kindness of this peculiar life form.

“Honeydew dwarf of Khaz Modan. And you are, William Riker?” Honeydew proclaimed.

“No I’m Xephos, space commander of the 24th Salacian division.” He replied formally. The dwarf shrugged and looked up at the sky.

“It’s pretty late already, we should probably start building a shelter. Because when night falls there’s monsters who spawn and that’s not good.” He said and began walking over the icy lake to the other side. Xephos hurried after him, taken by surprise when he slipped on the ice.

“Whoa! Shit, the ice is really slippery.” He shouted and Honeydew laughed at him.

“Of course, it’s ice. Over here, we have to knock this tree down.” Xephos gathered himself and began breaking off branches. He was intrigued by this planet, it was never this cold on his home planet normally. He saw something move a bit further away in the trees. Approaching the creature he noticed it had a lot of white fur and four limbs.

“What’s this?” He asked.

“That’s a sheep, they’re not dangerous.” Honeydew answered and continued chopping down wood. Xephos walked up to it and put his hand out, touching the fur, it was incredibly soft and warm. He pulled at the fur getting a handful of it but the sheep got scared and ran away from him. Disappointed he returned to Honeydew with the fur.

“Their fur is kinda useless. It’s not used for anything really. But here, I’ve made some planks so we can start setting up a shelter.” Honeydew said to him. But Xephos noticed another animal, bigger, with less fur and horns and took a few steps in its direction.

“You’re very easily distracted you know that.” Honeydew said observing the spaceman’s behaviour.

“Oh sorry, what am I supposed to do?” He asked him.

“Well we need tools to begin with. But I think we’re fucked, it’s night soon and we haven’t found any coal for light.” Honeydew said rushing around searching along the side of a nearby cliff.

“Oh don’t worry about that I have light.” Xephos replied knowing that his eyes would light up as darkness fell.

“Are you sure? Well we need to build this shelter now. Do you see that the sun is setting?” Honeydew began placing down the branches and planks against a tree, building a primitive shelter.

“Yeah, yeah I saw that. Okay here, I have some more wood.” Xephos followed Honeydew’s example and helped building the shelter.

“Okay we don’t have much room, it’ll be a bit tight. Quick, quick, come in here. I’ll make a door so they can’t come in.” Xephos squeezed in into the dark shack, spreading a slight blue glow around him. When Honeydew had blocked of the entrance he turned to Xephos giggling.

“Well at least we can see. It’ll be cosy.” Honeydew said and sat down on the floor of the shack.

“Whoa! What’s that?” Xephos said as a rattling could be heard from a figure outside the shelter.

“Shit that’s a skelington, but don’t worry he can’t come in.” Honeydew assured him. But as Xephos tried to adjust himself he accidentally opened the makeshift door and the skeleton advanced towards him. Staring intensely at the monster he assumed he would scare it away but it didn’t help.

“What are you doing? Close the door now!” Honeydew shouted. Xephos shuffled clumsily backwards, hastily shutting the opening behind him.

“It didn’t help! The light didn’t scare him!” He said scared as he hunched down besides the dwarf.

“Of course not! They’re only afraid of actual sunlight. Not your magical shiny eyes.” Honeydew replied. Xephos curled up with his knees against his chin, Honeydew leaned against him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry friend, we can do this together.” He said and Xephos felt weirdly at home in this hovel together with a friendly dwarf he just met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [holmesdoctor](http://holmesdoctor.tumblr.com) for proofreading, thanks to [inthelittleblog](http://inthelittleblog.tumblr.com) for bouncing ideas with me and a huge thanks to [br0r0mir](http://br0r0mir.tumblr.com) for their awesome mini Xephin fanmix that inspired this.


	2. Let's Talk About Spaceships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sjin and Xephos talk about feelings after a long tiring day. Laying in the grass and watching the sunset turns out to be quite romantic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's Talk About Spaceships - Say Hi To Your Mom
> 
> Mix [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3) [8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends)

Sjin put the crops he had gathered into a chest. The sun was about to set and it had been a long but profitable day getting them a lot of resources. Wiping the sweat from his forehead he sat down on the steps up to the porch, looking out over the fields. Xephos was walking through the barley but stopped when he saw Sjin. He took off his straw-hat and waved his hand gesturing for Sjin to come to him. Sjin raised his eyebrows wondering what his friend was up to. Xephos threw himself down in the field, not waiting to see if Sjin joined him. Putting away his tools first, the architect walked over to where Xephos was laying.

“What are you doing?” Sjin asked him.

“Resting, thinking, you should join me.” Xephos replied and Sjin sat down next to him.

“I think we did pretty well today don’t you?” He said to Xephos.

“Yeah, especially when that stupid creeper almost blew up all our crops.” Xephos replied.

“Well I would have blown up as well if you hadn’t given me a warning so I could kill him.” Sjin said modestly, they hadn’t sat down talked like this in a long time.

“Well now it’s all calm, we have torches up so they won’t spawn anywhere close to the farm.” Xephos said confident.

“Well they could actually still spawn here, where we are.” Sjin warned him.

“Eh, whatever Sjin, there’s probably someone else out there who will get them.” Xephos brushed it off and looked at the red orb slowly descending at the horizon.

“It’s almost romantic this”, Sjin chuckled. “Watching the sunset with you.”

“Only if you want it to be”, Xephos smirked.

“Hey! You’re the one who started this!” Sjin said laughing. The sunset was beautiful though, an abundance of colours from light blue to pink to dark orange. It had been a while since he had enjoyed a sunset like this, he’d had so much things going on for a long time. When he first arrived he was very fascinated by it insisting on following the rhythm of the sun. But after a while Sips had made that change because he was a heavy sleeper and didn’t enjoy getting up at the break of dawn.

“Do you ever watch the sunrise?” He asked Xephos.

“I used to, not anymore. Honeydew has a tendency to serenade them.” Xephos said smiling.

“Well Sips is the opposite, he hates mornings.” Sjin replied laying down on the grass. The last of the sun’s light now faded away and the moon rose behind them, spreading a faint white light over the farm and its surroundings.

***

“You know sometimes I think off home... It’s been so long.” Xephos sighed as he lay in the field under the moonlight. It was silent around them but for the slight buzz of insects and a faint wolf howl in the distance.

“I miss it. Everyone, family, friends. I have Sips now though, well, had, I miss him as well...” Sjin replied quietly from Xephos’ left.

“Well you have me, we have each other, and the farm of course”, Xephos said cheerfully and Sjin relaxed, but the thought of his home planet still lingered.

“Yes I’m glad I have you.” Sjin said and turned his head towards Xephos.

“It’s always nice to have someone that understands. I mean, sure Honeydew is far away from his kinsmen, but he could return one day, you know. We never could, it’s all gone...” Xephos said, facing Sjin, their eyes lighting up their faces slightly, blue like the dark sky above them. For a moment time seemed to stop.

“Well this feels like home, I’m not sure I’d even want to go back.” Sjin said slowly, his eyes wandering over Xephos’ alien features, the ones that made them different. The slanted eyes with thin pupils, the luminescence of course, the pointy ears, the fangs that were hidden behind his closed lips at the moment. Without thinking his hand went to touch Xephos’, stroking his long, delicate fingers.

“Sjin... Why are you touching me?” Xephos asked puzzled.

“Oh no! Sorry, I didn’t mean-“ But before he could move his hand, Xephos grabbed it with his own.

“You don’t have to stop. Please continue, it’s just that we-“ This time it was Sjin’s turn to cut his friend off. He pressed his lips quickly against Xephos’, giving him a sloppy kiss and making their noses collide.

“Wow”, Xephos said as they pulled away awkwardly. “You’re really fucking bad at kissing.”

“Hey! It’s not like I planned it!” Sjin replied, blushing furiously.

“Of course you didn’t, you totally haven’t been planning that for ages”, Xephos teased.

“Well... I mean, shut up! Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t, what does it matter.” Sjin said, regretting his action.

“It matters to me”, Xephos pulled Sjin closer and kissed him slowly, their beards rubbing against each other and his lips tasting Sjin’s. This was heading in a direction neither of them had expected, of course he had thought about it as well. He was naturally attracted to Sjin due to him being the same species as him, but that didn’t mean he wanted a more than platonic relationship. Sjin moaned quietly against his mouth and moved his hand to Xephos’ waist, the architect’s cold fingers sliding in under his shirt. Okay maybe a more than platonic relationship wasn’t that bad after all. He stopped kissing Sjin for a moment pulling away so he could look into his blue eyes.

“Sjin, are you really sure about this?” He whispered caressing the other spaceman’s cheek with his thumb.

“Sorry! If you don’t want to do this Xeph, I completely get you, just friends, that’s fine, you know, totes okay!” Sjin rambled nervously, his voice getting high-pitched and he mentally slapped himself for being so forward.

“It’s... It’s not that. You’re very dear to me, but I don’t want you to regret this.” Xephos sighed apologetically.

“Me, regret this?” Sjin frowned.

“Well, you know with Sips and all, you’re like a married couple”, He explained.

“We’re not! I mean he’s a cool dude and I like him a lot but he’s gone! He’s gone Xeph, and all I have is that stupid statue! I really miss him and you’re the only one I feel like I can talk to but you’re also very close to me and I don’t know what to do!” Tears welled up Sjin’s eyes as he was talking.

“C’mere”, Xephos pulled Sjin towards him letting the architect rest his head against his chest. Sjin was thankful for Xephos, comfort and began sobbing quietly into his striped shirt.  Xephos put his arms around Sjin and buried his nose in the architect’s hair, inhaling the familiar scent. Sjin clutched at Xephos’ jacket and pressed his body closer to Xephos, seeking comfort in his embrace. And so they lay, the two stranded spacemen, until dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [holmesdoctor](http://holmesdoctor.tumblr.com) for proofreading, thanks to [inthelittleblog](http://inthelittleblog.tumblr.com) for bouncing ideas with me and a huge thanks to [br0r0mir](http://br0r0mir.tumblr.com) for their awesome mini Xephin fanmix that inspired this.


	3. Nothing Matters When We're Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xephos finds a music disc and starts dancing. Sjin soon joins in but due to him not being very talented at it they find themselves in an awkward position. The natural progression of that is of course sloppy make outs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing Matters When We're Dancing - The Magnetic Fields
> 
> Mix [ 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3)

Xephos plucked out all the things from the chest he had found inside the villagers house. He was glad that they didn’t give a damn if someone just stripped their houses of valuables. In the chest there had been a cool pickaxe from thaumcraft, some really useful seeds and some crap like a music disc, apples, wheat and a saddle. Walking out of the house of the villager he began his journey back to the farm. It wasn’t too far and he made sure to avoid walking in the direction of the tainted land. By the time he was back home the sun had already set.

“Did you find anything useful?” Sjin asked as he noticed that Xephos had arrived.

“Some seeds that we can plant, not much more than that.” He shrugged and walked up to a chest to put them in for now. As he did he noticed the music disc he had picked up from earlier and got an idea.

“Hey Sjin? Can you pass me a diamond?” He shouted. Sjin threw one at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What are you making?” He asked Xephos.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll show you.” He replied with a smirk. He quickly put all the parts together, not showing Sjin the result.

“Okay come with me, into the manor.” He lead the way whilst Sjin followed, still confused. He ran up the stairs to the empty second floor. He put down the newly made contraption against the wall, inside the large room.

“Is that a jukebox?” Sjin asked sceptical.

“Hey you haven’t even listened to the music.” Xephos pouted, taking the black music disc and placing it in the jukebox. Out came a jazzy tune, it wasn’t the best music, frankly it was pretty silly, but it was still catchy. Xephos began moving his hips in rhythm with the music, stepping out in the middle of the room. He bobbed his head up and down and flailed awkwardly with his arms. Sjin couldn’t do anything but stare at him in disbelief, it looked ridiculous, this grown man dancing like a five year old to recorder jazz. Sjin tried his best not to laugh, but it started as a chuckle and then it turned into full-blown laughter. Xephos stopped dancing and looked at him.

“You think it’s funny? Why don’t you come and join me instead of standing there like a doofus?” Xephos asked, not bothered by Sjin’s laughter.

“Seriously?” Sjin looked at him hesitantly.

“Yeah, come on.” Xephos gestured at him to come.

“Well okay then, what can it hurt?” Sjin said, joining Xephos in the middle of the room. He began moving his body to the music as well. Just him and Xephos dancing, their movements in sync, following the weird rhythm.

***

The record looped whenever the song ended, leaving them dancing for a couple of minutes. But at one point Xephos and Sjin weren’t looking at where they went and clumsily bumped into each other. Xephos grabbed Sjin to balance himself and suddenly noticed how they were stood. He grabbed Sjin’s hand with his own and put the other one around Sjin’s waist.

“Hey, what are you-“ Sjin asked but Xephos cut him off.

“Just grab me.” Sjin did as Xephos said. The spaceman took a couple steps forward and the architect followed, their dance no longer connected to the music. Xephos moved around like this was an everyday thing to him, Sjin wondered if he had practiced alone or with someone else. Sjin had never practiced dancing before, it wasn’t a thing on Salacia. He stepped on Xephos’ toes quite a few times, but his friend only smiled and continued dancing. They were completely ignoring the music at this point, instead their rhythm followed their beating hearts. Adrenaline rushed through Sjin’s veins, he felt euphoric and giddy, he really liked this dancing thing. On the contrary Xephos had a calm expression and looked like he was just floating through the room. He led Sjin through different steps and spins, making sure his friend didn’t trip over his own feet. Lifting up one arm and pushing with the other he made Sjin spin several laps in a row. Sjin giggled and as Xephos pulled him into his arms again he was so dizzy he could barely stand. Just then Xephos decided it was a good idea to dip Sjin. But since the architect’s legs were too wobbly to support him he fell to the floor, dragging Xephos with him. They landed in a messy pile of panting and laughter. Neither Sjin or Xephos was able to breathe because they were laughing so hard. When they finally managed to calm down, after many failed attempts of trying to stop and then just starting to giggle again, they noticed the awkward position they were placed in. Xephos was sat straddled over Sjin’s hips, who in turn was lying with his back on the mahogany floor, looking up on Xephos’ increasingly red face.

“Well that was fun”, Xephos whispered. The sudden awkward silence was enhanced by the fact that the recorder was playing. Sjin tried his best not to burst into laughter again.

“Yeah, it was”, he replied biting his lip to hold back his giggles. Xephos unknowingly licked his lips but Sjin was observant enough to catch it.

“Is this making you uncomfortable Xephos?” He asked with a smirk.

“Uh... Well, not really uncomfortable” He replied, suddenly aware of how close his crotch was to Sjin’s. Sjin slid his hands up Xephos’ thighs, slowly rubbing his hands against the fabric of the other man’s trousers.

“How about now?” Sjin asked teasingly.

“Sjin are you trying to seduce me?” Xephos said with a disbelieving smile.

“I don’t know. Is it working?” Sjin replied, moving his hands even closer to Xephos’ crotch.

“Maybe?” Xephos chuckled and leaned down to kiss Sjin, cupping the architects face with his hands.

“Oh really?” Sjin giggled. “Maybe I’ll have to try harder then?” He said, moving one hand to Xephos’ neck, keeping him down whilst he kissed him deeper. Xephos responded by parting his lips eagerly, letting Sjin slide his tongue into his own mouth. Sjin tasted sweet, like the fruits they grew on the farm; melon, blueberry and apple. The taste the taste caused a sudden rush of desire for the other man. He pressed his mouth passionately against Sjin’s, who let out a muffled moan in response. Sjin moved his hands up to Xephos’ shoulders, sliding his coat off. Xephos let go of the other man to pull the coat off completely and throw it on the floor. Sjin tangled the fingers of one hand into the spaceman’s hair and moved the other back to Xephos’ crotch, tugging gently at the waistband of his trousers. Xephos moaned, feeling a twitching in his pants, at this point he couldn’t ignore the pleasure.

***

Suddenly Sjin bucked his hips, breaking the kiss and turning Xephos over.

“Ouch Sjin, a little warning could’ve been appreciated”, Xephos groaned. Sjin just chuckled.

“Sorry, I forgot the floor isn’t very comfortable”, Sjin smiled apologetically.

“No it is not comfortable, let’s just stop. We should go downstairs”, Xephos said and Sjin’s smile dropped.

“Oh... Okay”, Sjin said, hiding his disappointment. He stood up and walked down the stairs to where they slept. He sat down on his bed and took his boots off, prepared to go to sleep. Xephos came running after him, grabbing his shoulder.

“No Sjin, I didn’t mean it like that you silly bugger”, Xephos placed a kiss on Sjin’s forehead and Sjin’s face lit up.

“So you still, I mean, because of that other time?” Sjin said, placing his hands on Xephos’ hips.

“Yes I still want to, just don’t think about that. Here”, Xephos replied and unbuttoned his trousers. Sjin pulled them down, his eyes widening as he saw the tip of Xephos’ tentacle peeking up from his pants.

“Should I?” Sjin asked hesitant.

“Just do it, I think it’s a bit impatient”, Xephos winked as the tentacle wiggled excitedly. Sjin pulled Xephos’ pants down, revealing the whole of the tentacle. It was shaped like a long, pointy tongue, the colour like Xephos’ blue eyes. A thick, translucent liquid of the same colour covered the arm. Sjin grabbed the spaceman’s hips, leaning his face in closer, letting the tip of the tentacle brush over his cheek.

“This is going to mess up my beard”, Sjin complained.

“Oh for god’s sake, just clean it up later”, Xephos replied and his limb moved down Sjin’s face to his mouth. He stuck his tongue out, licking the sleek surface of Xephos’ tentacle. The goop tasted sweet, like the arm was covered in gelatinous icing. The tentacle twisted around Sjin’s tongue, sliding into his mouth. Xephos gasped as he felt the warm sensation around his tentacle, tangling his fingers into Sjin’s hair. He pushed Sjin’s head closer, curling up his arm to make sure he didn’t choke him in the process. Sjin moved his head towards Xephos’ crotch, licking along the tentacle down to its base. The arm began twitching along with Xephos’ pleasure growing stronger. Sjin circled his tongue around the base of the tentacle, switching between that and carefully nibbling at the sensitive flesh surrounding the area where the tentacle protruded from the body.

“Oh dear god”, Xephos moaned in-between his panting breaths. Sjin smirked at the reaction he got from the spaceman. Suddenly Sjin felt something entering his nostril and violently jerked his head back. Xephos was stood laughing so hard he was crying. Sjin touched his nose, when he looked at his fingers they were covered in green slime.

“Oh my god Xephos! You are the worst! Do you know how gross that is?” Sjin screamed at Xephos, pushing his hips away.

“I’m sorry! But your expression, priceless!” Xephos managed to get out as he was still laughing.

“Screw you, I’m going to bed!” Sjin laid down on the bed he’d been sitting on and turned his back against Xephos.

“Man, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me. I won’t do it again.” Xephos said, now he had calmed down a bit. Sjin pretended he wasn’t listening and he heard Xephos laying down in the other bed. Of course he wasn’t mad at Xephos, how could he when he was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [inthelittleblog](http://inthelittleblog.tumblr.com) for proofreading and a huge thanks to [br0r0mir](http://br0r0mir.tumblr.com) for bouncing ideas with me


	4. Starry Eyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you have a water war and get soaking wet you have no choice but to take your clothes off, right? Just a shame their neighbours happen to hear their loud intercourse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starry Eyed - Ellie Goulding
> 
> Mix [ 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3)

“Ah shit! Now my whole shirt is wet!” Xephos complained loudly. Sjin looked up from where he was harvesting seeds. The spaceman had accidentally walked right into the 'A storm of crops' sprinkler and was now dripping with water. Sjin laughed as he was squatting in the large mixed plot.

“I think you’ve got some water on you there Xeph. Just a tiny spot”, Sjin teased him. Xephos gritted his teeth, not finding Sjin’s comment funny at all.

“Oh yeah? Well I think you’ve got one as well!” Xephos used his hand to splash the sprinkler water over onto Sjin who quickly leapt up on his feet.

“You mother trucker!” Sjin screamed out as the cold water hit his face and ran down his neck under his shirt. He scooped up some water from the stream next to him trying to throw it in Xephos’ direction. Xephos laughed smugly as it barely reached half way between them.

“What are you gonna do now you git?” Xephos mocked Sjin from across the fence. Sjin put on a determined face, jumping over the fence and charging towards Xephos. Xephos tried desperately to run away but Sjin ran after him into the sprinkled plot. He managed to grab Xephos’ jacket and tackled him down in the mud.

“My coat!” Xephos whimpered, lying on his stomach in the mud. Sjin grinned deviously, nailing Xephos down by straddling his back.

“You wuss, this is payback for my beard”, Sjin laughed. They were now both soaking wet as the sprinkler sprayed water over them continuously.

“Okay , you’ve had your turn, now let me go.” Xephos said, pretending to give up. But as soon as Sjin let him go, Xephos jumped up on his feet, pulling out a water bucket from his pack. Sjin let out a high-pitched scream before dashing through the plot, away from the spaceman.

“Please! Xephos don’t! I’m sorry for your jacket!” Sjin screamed as he ran out in the golden barley field. Xephos decided not to listen to Sjin’s pleading and ran after, the bucket in both his hands. Sjin stopped to catch his breath, unable to run for long because as usual he hadn’t eaten enough. Taking his chance, Xephos caught up with Sjin and threw the bucket over the poor architect.

“Okay! Okay! Please stop now!” Sjin whined, his whole body freezing from the cold shower of water. Xephos threw the bucket to the ground, resting his hand on his knees.

“Who’s the wet one now huh?” Xephos said smugly.

“Well technically you’re still wet”, Sjin smirked back. The spaceman threw a punch at Sjin’s arm, not thinking his reply was funny.

“Ow! That’s not fair!” Sjin shouted, jumping backwards away from Xephos.

“Okay. Sorry, I’m stopping now”, Xephos raised his hands, surrendering.

***

Sjin looked down at his dripping wet clothes.

“What am I gonna do now? My spacesuit is at the magical police tower!” He complained loudly.

“Hey, look at my coat. It’s not even red anymore, it’s fucking brown.” Xephos replied dryly. He pulled the mud-stained jacket off together with his shoulder belt, tossing them into the bucket. Sjin’s eyes fixed on Xephos’ torso, the thin striped t-shirt wrapped tightly against the other man’s chest, the wet fabric partly see-through.

“Are you staring at me?” Xephos asked. Sjin’s face turned blue as he blushed furiously in response.

“What? No... Maybe?” Sjin replied hastily shifting his gaze away from Xephos.

“You know you’re always very obvious when you do that. Checking me out, flirting...” Xephos said, crossing his arms.

“Well I can’t help it. Your shirt is very tight and... It’s kinda sexy to be honest.” Sjin defended himself. Xephos chuckled and pulled his shirt off over his head, revealing his damp chest covered in dark hair.

“Is this better?” Xephos asked with a smile.

“No.” Sjin stated, shaking his head, before cracking up in a smile. Xephos took his wet shirt and slapped Sjin’s butt with it.

“Hey! You were gonna stop.” Sjin exclaimed, pouting. Xephos stepped towards him, grabbing the architect’s ass.

“I’m sorry, again.” He said before kissing Sjin softly. Sjin gave in to the kiss, snaking his arms around Xephos’ bare waist. Xephos moved his hands slowly up Sjin’s back; tangling one hand into the man’s hair, using the other to unbuckle the braces of Sjin’s dungarees. Sjin broke away from the kiss, helping Xephos’ remove his trousers.

“Hold on. It’s a bit difficult, you have to pull off my boots first”, He explained to Xephos, who now tried to lift Sjin’s leg instead.

“Just hold my shoulder and I’ll pull it off.” Xephos said, underestimating the force of which the wet boot stuck to Sjin’s foot. As he pulled at the boot with no result, Sjin lost his balance and fell backwards into the barley.

“It’s just easier if you do it like this”, Sjin laughed. Xephos pouted grumpily but followed Sjin’s advice and pulled the boots upwards, throwing them away like with his own clothes. Sjin shifted his hips so that Xephos could take off the dungarees as well. He kneeled between the legs of the architect, hungrily kissing the man once again. Sjin locked his legs around Xephos’ waist, pulling him in, digging his fingers into his bare back.

Eagerly moving his fingers Xephos unbuttoned Sjin’s shirt. Sjin sat up with his lips still locked against Xephos, letting the spaceman pull the wet shirt off his shoulder. In turn he moved his hands to Xephos’ waist, unbuckling his belt with steady hands. Sjin moved his lips from Xephos’, down to his neck, nibbling at the damp skin.

“God, you seem eager to please”, Xephos breathed. Sjin just continued to trail along the spaceman’s collarbone, slipping one hand inside Xephos’ pants, gripping his slimy member. Xephos grunted loudly, his nails digging into Sjin’s thighs. Xephos placed his back to the ground as he let Sjin take off his trousers and pants, his blue tentacle wriggling in the air.

***

“You sure about this?” Xephos asked as Sjin scooted in between his legs.

“Yeah, don’t worry”, Sjin said before leaning down and kissing Xephos again. Xephos pulled down Sjin’s underpants and ran his fingers over the sensitive skin that hid the tentacle. It was an internal as well as an external organ, similar to how the tongue had its base inside the mouth but was still able to move past ones lips.

Sjin pressed his tongue between Xephos’ lips. In response he slipped the tip of his tentacle inside Sjin, the architect whimpered against his mouth. Sjin spiralled his tentacle around Xephos’, making them both groan with pleasure.

“I’ve missed this so much”, Sjin murmured as he stopped kissing Xephos for a moment, catching his breath.

“Missed this? We’ve never had sex before Sjin”, Xephos said in a teasing manner. Sjin gritted his teeth.

“Fuck you! You know what I mean!” Sjin replied in protest.

“Well you are indeed fucking me right now”, Xephos said with a smirk. Sjin tensed up his tentacle around Xephos’ who gasped loudly.

“I hate you”, Sjin muttered affectionately.

“No you don’t, you love me”, Xephos stated in between hitched breaths. Sjin didn’t reply, instead he pressed his lips against Xephos’ mouth, his right hand stroking the man’s torso.

Xephos grabbed the hand with his own, swiftly switching their positions so he was sat between Sjin’s legs again. His tentacle grasped around Sjin’s, pulling slowly from the base to the tip. Sjin bucked his hips, digging his toes into the ground.

“Please...” He moaned, his tentacle writhing in Xephos’ grasp.

“I won’t do it any quicker if that’s what you mean”, Xephos said apologetically, now mimicking his tentacle’s movements with his hand interchangeably. Leaning forward slightly he caressed Sjin’s cheek with his other hand, slowly trailing his fingers up the side of the architects face until he reached his ear. Xephos brushed his thumb up the length of the pointed tip, knowing he’d found Sjin’s sweet spot as he heard the man gasp loudly.

“Xeph-“ Sjin’s voice got cut off abruptly as Xephos bent his head down, licking the man’s other ear. Sjin squirmed beneath the spaceman, every breath accompanied by a whimper. Xephos breaths became hitched as well, as he increased the pace of his tentacle’s movements around Sjin’s.

“ I’m gonna”, Sjin huffed digging his fingers into Xephos hip. Xephos knew it wouldn’t be long before he came either, the writhing of Sjin’s arm made it hard for him to keep his movement steady.

“Xephos!” Sjin’s moan echoed over the farm. His tentacle twitched violently as he came, the amount of blue slime increasing, dripping down on the earth. With a heavy groan Xephos climaxed soon after, the impact of Sjin’s orgasm too much for him to contain. He rested his head on Sjin’s chest, panting heavily, their combined secretion smeared across their stomachs.

***

"Well you're a couple of doggers aren't you" A loud voice called from the hill next to them at the edge of the farm. Sjin and Xephos hastily separated, looking in the direction of the sound. It came from the bearded man of name Ross, strolling down the hill from between the trees.

“You could be heard for miles you know”, Alsmiffy added, the green pyromaniac emerged from behind Ross.

"Jeez Sjin we didn't sell you the deed so you could use the ground _this_ way" The walrus scientist Trottimus sneered as he waddled after his companions. Sjin and Xephos got up on their feet, the barley just tall enough to cover their groins.

“Well we weren’t really expecting other people”, Xephos remarked, crossing his arms over his messy torso.

“Well we weren’t expecting you here Xephos”, Ross replied from where he stood on the hill. Sjin blushed as he realised his feelings for Xephos weren’t a secret anymore.

“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to be some sort of CEO in that mud-hole of Si-“ Trottimus said before Xephos quickly cut him off.

“Maybe I’m working more than one job, that’s none of your business. This isn’t either for that sake”, Xephos said defensively.

“Exactly, get off my land, I own it now”, Sjin shooed at them with his hand. The Sirs hesitated for a moment before the retreaded up the hill again.

“We look forward to having you as a neighbour. Though keep it a bit quieter next time will ye?” Alsmiffy called out before the three of them disappeared as quickly as they had arrived.

***

“That was unexpected”, Xephos said surprised. Sjin nodded, gazing at Xephos’ body.

“We look like a mess, how embarrassing”, Sjin laughed flustered. Not only were their bellies covered in slime, they had mud and grass stains everywhere, especially Xephos after his face had been pushed into the dirt earlier. They also had grass and barley stuck in their hair and beards, making them look like some kind of uncivilised wild men.

“You’re still pretty though”, Xephos said smiling. Sjin blushed and shuffled his feet.

“Now everyone knows about us though”, Sjin sighed, he’d wished it would stay between them.

“Oh it’s fine, don’t worry about it. Let’s get cleaned up instead”, Xephos said, entwining his fingers with Sjin’s, using his other hand to pick up their clothes. Sjin tried to relax and forget about it, what Trottimus had said was probably nothing.

But he couldn’t shake the troubling feeling nagging at his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [ br0r0mir ](http://br0r0mir.tumblr.com) for bounching ideas. Huge thanks to [ iflydragons](http://iflydragons.tumblr.com) for proof-reading.


	5. Astronaut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sips and Xephos left Sjin at the dirt factory he headed home, clearly disappointed of his fate. And when Xephos returns from Sips Co Sjin is in a really bad mood, far from eager to welcome his friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Astronaut (A Short history of Nearly Nothing) - Amanda Palmer
> 
> Mix [ 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3)

His glowing eyes spread enough light for him to navigate through the dark forest, he didn’t worry too much about mobs as long as he could move undetected from other people. Xephos stopped when he got to the spot where he had hidden the chest with his farming tools. Quickly switching his Sipsco gear for his farm ones, Xephos sneaked towards the farm. It should be empty but he couldn’t be too careful.

The orange glow from the torches welcomed him as he stepped out of the woods. He sighed calmly, thinking of how nice it would be to sleep in his own bed. A sudden dry snicker awoke him from his thoughts.

***

“So where have you been then Xephos?” Sjin’s voice was condescending, not at all like his usual cheerfulness.

“Sjin? I, uh, thought you were hanging out with Lalna?” Xephos said, looking up to where Sjin was sat on the cart. He was leaning his back against the legs of Sips’ statue, which was smashed in places where someone had struck it violently with a hammer, the detached head laying broken on the ground.

“Nah, I told him to watch over Nano instead, said I had some turnips to grow”, Sjin replied smiling, a smile that didn’t reach his red and puffy eyes.

“I think don’t think the turnips need much attendance”, Xephos said, a knot forming in his stomach. Something was awfully wrong.

“Apparently they do according to Sips” Sjin raised his voice, his tone more harsh. “Did you have fun with him in that mud hole then?” Sjin gritted his teeth and Xephos took a few steps backwards. He started to connect the pieces now; the damaged statue, Sjin’s red eyes.

“Sjin, I just did what I-“ Xephos raised his hands defensively but Sjin cut him off before he got to finish.

“It’s been months and months of me trying to save him! And then you did this!” Sjin jumped off the cart storming towards Xephos.

“Sjin, please listen”, Xephos desperately tried to take control of the situation.

“No you need to listen! I’m done with you both! How can you fucking leave me for him, _to make drugs_?” Sjin had tears in his eyes but Xephos didn’t know if it was from anger or sadness.

“I just thought it was for the best”, Xephos tried to explain.

“Why? Huh? Am I not important to you?” Sjin grabbed the front of Xephos’ coat pushing him backwards.

“Of course you are but, well, this was just a fling, you, the farm, I’m moving on” Xephos said apologetically, he wanted to resolve this in a civilised way.

“I thought you loved me!” Sjin socked Xephos in the jaw making the spaceman stumble backwards, tripping over his feet. He didn’t really resist, he knew Sjin was partially right, so he let his back hit the ground with a quiet thump.

“This was a mistake, I should never have trusted you”, Sjin’s voice trembled with bitterness as he approached his friend.

“Sjin”, Xephos got another punch before he managed to say anything more. The ringing in his ears made it hard to concentrate.

“I loved him, and you took him away from me” Sjin straddled Xephos, nailing him to the dirt. He grabbed Xephos throat with one hand raising the other to strike him again.

“Sjin, please”, his words came through as a wheezing breath but clear enough to make Sjin stop for a second.

“How can you act like you care when you knew how much I missed him!” Sjin screamed as he smacked Xephos in the face, leaving a red mark. The places where his fist had already hit were beginning to bruise and Xephos’ lip was bleeding.

“I just thought... You wouldn’t mind”, Xephos coughed, stars dancing in the corners of his vision now, as Sjin made no effort to loosen his grip.

“Wouldn’t mind?! He’s fucking making cocaine!” The betrayal Sjin was feeling had been eating him up ever since he was left at the ruins of the dirt factory, and it was all those pent up feelings he was letting loose on Xephos.

“He replaced me, I’ve always been there for him, and he replaced me! Are you fucking him as well? I bet you are you filthy mother trucker!” Sjin pressed his hand closer around Xephos’ throat and the spaceman tried to resist to no avail. Xephos’ fingers clawed weakly at Sjin’s, the weight of Sjin pressing down his ribcage making breathing even harder.

“S-stop Sji-“ Xephos retched as he barely had any air left. Sjin’s fist hit Xephos temple, knocking the spaceman unconscious. He didn’t notice that the struggle stopped until it was too late.

***

His hands met the dirt as the body of the spaceman disappeared beneath him. Sjin was suddenly sat on top of a grave instead of Xephos, staring at the gravestone.

_Xephos was slain by Sjin_

It simply displayed cause of death, nothing more. Sjin put a hand against his mouth as tears welled up in his eyes. What had he done? He asked himself. The disgust hit like a punch in his stomach, making him feel nauseous.

“Oh my god...” Sjin whispered. His throat closed up, he had never meant to go this far. The tears ran down his face, wetting his cheeks and beard. He felt repulsed by his actions, Sjin hated death. The pain Xephos must have felt, and it was all his fault. He had lost his mind, he had gone too far, for what?

“What the hell was that?!” Xephos stormed out of the Mahogany Manor. But as he saw the miserable figure on the ground he stopped himself. Shoulders shaking, sniffling breaths and muffled whimpering, Sjin truly was a tragic sight. Xephos had never seen the architect cry before, he looked so vulnerable as he sat hunched over Xephos’ grave. Feeling guilty, even though he was the one who died, he walked slowly towards Sjin.

“I understand it as you didn’t mean it then”, Xephos whispered softly. He wrapped his arms around Sjin, pulling the crying man towards himself. Sjin clutched at Xephos’ jacket and pressed his body closer to Xephos, seeking comfort in his embrace. He didn’t want to be left alone again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [ br0r0mir](http://br0r0mir.tumblr.com) for bounching ideas and to [ HSRco ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hsrco) for proof-reading.


	6. Illuminated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xephos wants to comfort Sjin, take his mind off Sips, and what better way to relax than to make some hot space love? (Takes place directly after the last chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illuminated - Hurts
> 
> Mix [ 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3)

“Let’s go to bed, you’re gonna get cold out here Sjin.” Xephos stood up pulling the architect with him.

“Shouldn’t you grab your things?” Sjin asked with a quiet voice, thick from the crying.

“Yeah probably. Hang on give me your pick”, Sjin did as Xephos said and the spaceman quickly smashed the grave, gathering his things from the pieces.

They walked inside the manor, the bedroom was warm and welcoming after the tiring evening. Sjin kicked of his boots, prepared to throw himself on the bed.

“Wait, Sjin, I want to talk to you for a bit first”, Xephos put a hand on the man’s shoulder. Sjin would rather go to bed than talk but he nodded in reply.

“Sure, just, don’t complicate it”, Sjin sighed, his glowing eyes meeting Xephos’ slightly darker ones.

“I’m sorry, okay, I’m truly sorry for that whole thing. I assure you it wasn’t my fault in any way, Sips picked me and I didn’t have a choice.” Xephos said sincerely, rubbing his hand against Sjin’s upper arm. “If you’re gonna be mad at someone you should be mad at him.”

“Well I already took his head off”, Sjin responded dryly but his expression was a little softer.

“Yeah, it was a nice statue though”, Xephos said thoughtfully.

“I can’t believe he’s making drugs, like, what happened with the dirt? That was our thing, that’s Sipsco you know”, Sjin bit his lip, he still couldn’t believe Sips had fired him.

“Well... He’s making dirt as well, as a cover. It’s pretty shit though, we’ve barely gotten anywhere, we don’t even have a roof!” Xephos replied and Sjin let out a small chuckle.

“Well he’s not the greatest architect. I always made the different buildings we needed for things”, Sjin said, and it was true, he didn’t remember one instance when Sips built a house instead of him.

“Okay, but you promise not to tell anyone about the drugs, Sips would kill me if he knew someone other than us found out.” Xephos asked.

“Yeah sure, I know what sort of boss he can be”, Sjin rolled his eyes.

“Good, do you forgive me then?” Xephos said mischievously.

“Yeah, it doesn’t make me feel much better though.” As soon as Sjin finished speaking he got nailed to the wall, Xephos pressed his mouth hungrily against Sjin’s. Xephos held Sjin’s arms above his head with one hand, using the other to rub against the architect’s thigh.

“I’m gonna make you feel much better Sjin”, Xephos murmured as he broke the kiss to breathe. Sjin responded with a loud sigh of pleasure, Xephos’ hand rubbing against his crotch. Xephos trailed kisses down Sjin’s neck, occasionally digging his teeth into the soft skin.

***

“Please”, Sjin whispered, he wanted to get lost in the other man’s touch, forgetting the world around them. Screw Sips, screw everyone else, they didn’t matter now.

“Please what?” Xephos asked teasingly.

“Touch me Xephos”, Sjin huffed, pressing his bulge against Xephos’ hand. The spaceman chuckled, releasing the grip around Sjin’s wrists. Instead Xephos moved his hand down to slide Sjin’s bracers off form the architect’s shoulders. Sjin pulled his arms out and pushed the dungarees down past his hips. Xephos slid his hand inside Sjin’s boxers, making the architect gasps loudly. As the spaceman felt Sjin’s wriggling member he shook his head disappointedly.

“No Sjin, I don’t need that” Xephos winked as Sjin obediently retracted his tentacle. He pulled down Sjin’s trousers and underwear, leaving them to pool at the architect’s ankles. Leaning in close Xephos licked Sjin’s pointy ear, swirling his tongue around the tip and making Sjin wince under him.

“I’m going to fuck you until you scream”, Xephos growled into Sjin’s ear. The architect licked his lips, nodding enthusiastically. Sjin fumbled with his fingers as he unbuckled Xephos’ belt, sliding the garment along with the man’s pants down his thighs.

“Good boy”, Xephos said encouragingly, gripping Sjin’s thighs, lifting him up against the wall. “Wrap your legs around me.” Sjin didn’t need more instructions. He kicked off his trousers on the floor, locking his legs around Xephos’ waist and leaning his hands against the spaceman’s shoulders.

“Shit”, Sjin moaned as Xephos slid inside him, Xephos’ tentacle rubbing against Sjin’s, sending sparks through his sensitive insides. His thoughts blurred until the only thing filling his mind was Xephos. The spaceman was good, no question about that. Sjin could barely cling onto the man because his limbs were weak from the sensation.

Salacians reproduced asexually so any genitalia were useless, but since they were a race that was highly social with many intimate bonds, they used their parts solely for pleasure. Only a single type of genitals though, leaving the race with simply one gender. Sjin had been surprised when Sips told him there were people without dicks and Sips had been equally as surprised when discovered how Sjin’s tentacle worked. Xephos on the other hand was well familiar with the luminescent member of their kin, knowing exactly where to touch and how. And god that touch was unreal, Sjin was panting hard, barely able to contain himself.

“I’m so close, Xephos”, The architect huffed, but instead of increasing the intensity of his movements Xephos pulled back his tentacle. Sjin pouted, the disappointment showing on his face.

“Please!” He begged, twisting his hips as he tried to get Xephos to continue touching him.

“Not until you give me what you owe me”, Xephos said smirking, letting Sjin drop down on his feet again.

“Anything”, Sjin whined. “What do I owe you?”

“Well you see, you never finished me off that time when we danced”, Xephos stated with a serious expression, his fingers playing with Sjin’s goatee.

“But that was ages ago!” Sjin complained. “I’m also pretty sure you finished it yourself when in bed afterwards.”

“Hey, you said anything. Drop down on your knees now, or this will take even more time”, Sjin obliged to Xephos order and let his tongue play with the tentacle. It tasted saltier than usual when the tentacle swirled around his tongue and into his mouth.

“Uwe een eaching meat”, Sjin said, his voice awkwardly muffled by the member in his mouth.

“Sorry, we mostly just have mutton over there”, Xephos said bemused, playing gently with Sjin’s chestnut locks. Occasionally he brushed a finger over the tip of Sjin’s ear, making the man hitch as the light touches went straight to his crotch.

Sjin worked the spaceman slowly, sucking and nibbling at the slick flesh of the tentacle. After a while Sjin’s hand found its way down between his own legs and he began twisting his tentacle around his fingers, coating them with thick slime.

Xephos bucked his hips towards the architect, growing impatient. Sjin moved his free hand towards the base of Xephos’ tentacle, his thumb rubbing against the delicate skin surrounding the entrance. The added touch made Xephos’ arm squirm and with a loud groan he came, the blue secretion dribbling down Sjin’s chin and into his beard.

“I love you”, Xephos murmured, squatting down to meet Sjin’s gaze. The salty taste of his own goo filled his mouth as he pressed his lips against Sjin’s. Quickly switching Sjin’s hand for his own Xephos finished off the architect with a few rubs of his fingers. Sjin moaned against Xephos’ mouth, the gelatinous substance dripping down from his tentacle onto the mahogany floor.

“I love you too”, Sjin purred, pulling away from Xephos and caressing the man’s face.

“Let’s clean up quickly, and then we can go to bed, no need to get dressed.” Xephos said, grabbing a tissue from his coat pocket which he used to wipe Sjin’s beard fairly clean. Sjin grabbed his dungarees and threw them on his bed, the same with Xephos’ clothes. He took off his shirt, adding it to the pile of clothes before climbing into Xephos’ bed.

“I see, you’re going to steal my space are you?” Xephos asked, stripping off the rest of his clothes as well.

“What? No! It’s cosy”, Sjin protested.

“Okay, as long as you don’t steal my blanket”, Xephos sighed and climbed in with Sjin. Sjin wrapped an arm around the spaceman, spooning him tightly in the small bed. He had forgotten about everything else, his problems seemed so distant now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [ sonic-selma](http://sonic-selma.tumblr.com) for proofreading.


	7. The World At Large

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sjin gets curious about the new Sips Co base and decides sneaking in. But his attempt at a disguise does not work on the big guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The World At Large - Modest Mouse
> 
> Mix [ 8tracks](http://8tracks.com/owlpig/farming-alien-boyfriends) [ Spotify](http://open.spotify.com/user/hedvigugglan/playlist/3rhulDjWyb1pLJFjvxBPx3)

Sjin woke up from his dream as the mattress suddenly bounced up, the warmth leaving the bed. They had pushed them together after that night, and Xephos had acted normal the week it had been since then. He didn’t open his eyes, afraid that Xephos would notice that he was awake. The floorboards creaked when Xephos walked over to the pile of clothes on his tiptoes. Trying to keep his breath deep and regular, Sjin listened to Xephos quietly dressing himself. As soon as the quiet click of the door told him he was alone, he rushed up from the bed. Sjin threw on his clothes as fast as he could, grabbing his tools and running out from the house.

Xephos red and golden coat disappeared between the trees on the hill and Sjin ran after, determined to not lose him from his sight. He tried to sneak from tree to tree as he followed the spaceman, until suddenly he stopped. Sjin had to quickly press himself against a birch because Xephos looked around to see if the coast was clear. Switching to the gear in the chest hidden inside a tree, Xephos went from farmer to Sips Co employee.

“Bollocks, let’s see what the coordinates are again...” Xephos muttered to himself. Sjin panicked as he realised what the spaceman was about to do. Of course Xephos had a teleportation bracelet, he had the technology and it wasn’t complicated so why shouldn’t he? It was an easy way to travel shorter distances within a dimension, and also he was one of the most powerful people in this place. Xephos folded his map and put it back in his pack again. He spoke the numbers out loud as he typed them in, thinking no one else could hear them. Sjin concentrated so he could remember them and when he saw Xephos flicker and disappear he left his cover.

The chest was hidden on one of the lower branches of the sturdy oak. Sjin climbed up and looked through it, there was the force pick and some seeds and other things from the farm. He was about to give up and close it again when he saw something in the bottom corner of the chest, another teleportation bracelet! Sjin pulled it out, quickly typing in the coordinates he just heard. When he got to the two last digits he became uncertain. Was it 37 or 73...? He took a chance and pressed the button.

***

He fell face flat in the mud, cursing silently he looked around, making sure no one saw him. Sjin could see a base in the distance a bit away in this mud field. Everything was dirt as far as he could see, the exception being a few trees and water pools. He was slightly happy that his coordinates had been wrong because he could see some figures running around in the base. Sjin sneaked closer, trying to be quiet, though every step he took was followed by a slosh of his boots in the mud. He crouched down by the fence separating the Sips Co base from the rest of the muddy landscape. Xephos was working on some machinery and talking to another employee, Turps apparently.

“Uh... Turps. I’m heading off to Hole Digger Inc. to get a part for this machine, I thought I had it but apparently not. It’s just faster to go get one than make a new from scratch.” Xephos said, putting his tools down.

“ Okay, sure. I’ll see you back later”, Turps replied, he was busy working on something and didn’t look up as Xephos left.

Sjin couldn’t see Sips anywhere, so he assumed the man was inside the half-done brick building at the end of the compound. Sjin twiddled with his moustache, frenetically trying to work out a plan. When he saw a creeper walking around in the distance he got an idea. He could transform into something! But if they saw a monster walking around they would probably kill him, what had he killed that wouldn’t be suspicious. Sjin gritted his teeth, slowly remembering his hand around Xephos’ throat, pressing harder and harder, blocking the air to the man’s lungs. He had tried to repress that memory, but now it was just what he needed. It was obvious, he just needed to pretend to be Xephos, they wouldn’t question it at all.

Morphing wasn’t too painful, they had the same anatomy after all, so his bones barely ached afterwards. Sjin looked down at himself, Xephos’ coat was so familiar too him and it felt weird to be the one wearing it. Reaching his hands up to touch his face, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. It felt so right, just like touching the other man, but it was his own face. Sjin tried not to think about it too much and instead walked to the opening in the fence.

“Xephos? I thought you were off to Honeydew?” Turps turned around as he heard Sjin’s footsteps.

“Uh... Well, you know. I actually had it on me, haha.” Sjin said, trying to mimic Xephos’ speaking pattern and accent.

“Well that is good. How’s Honeydew by the way?” Turps asked wanting to chitchat.

“He’s great! I mean I should know, he’s my buddy, pal, friend, dwarf... Yeah. No but I think he’s doing great, with the holes and the digging, he digs holes. We dig holes I mean, Hole Digging Inc.” Sjin laughed nervously, he wasn’t the best at impressions, or acting.

“Well, that’s good for you then. I mean you’ve mostly been with Sjin recently”, Turps cranked the lever of the grinder, thankfully not paying too much attention.

“Yeah, but uh, the farm is important. There’s loads of important things there.” Sjin replied, he didn’t actually know why Xephos stayed at the farm more. He liked to think it was because of him but he wasn’t sure anymore.

“Oh, what’s more important than dirt? I mean, you don’t seem that interested in crops”, Turps said curiously.

“Bees!” Sjin replied a bit too quickly, as he just remembered a passion of Xephos’. “A lot of bees! Very important! They’re dying out you know, and without bees we won’t have any plants. I’m saving the bees.”

“Okay... Well I’m going to go mining for a bit, so you can just finish that machine of yours.” Turps said, giving Sjin, who looked like Xephos, a weird look. He grabbed a pick and headed down one of the tunnels, leaving Sjin relieved and alone. He hadn’t expected Turps to fall for it, but of course having someone impersonate your friend didn’t happen every day. He wasn’t sure about what to do next, should he just go for it? Sjin grabbed a stack of torches and slowly walked towards the factory building.

***

Sips was standing in the far corner of the building, putting down mud bricks to make the floor of the factory. It was odd for Sjin to see Sips building something without him, but he was doing a good job. Sjin cleared his throat, feeling like he needed to announce his presence.

“I was just gonna put some torches down. It’s always good to have some torches lighting up the place you know” Sjin said as he entered the building. Sips turned towards him, scanning him with his eyes.

“Okay silk-shirt. I need some more here, I can’t see a flipping thing.” Sips replied and Sjin walked over towards him. When he placed down the torch on the wall Sips suddenly started laughing.

“Uh, what’s so funny Sips?” Sjin asked trying to sound normal. How he had missed that laugh, it filled his stomach with butterflies hearing it.

“You big dumdum did you really think that would trick me?!” Sips huffed, almost crying from laughter.

“What are you talking about?” Sjin said not very convincingly.

“Jesus Christ, I’ve heard your Xephos impression a billion times you bastard. You could have tried a bit harder”, Sips said, calming down a little. It was true, they often mocked their fellow businessmen, doing silly impressions and laughing at things they’d said.

“Hey! Turps fell for it”, Sjin said slightly offended.

“Well he doesn’t know you like I do. Sjin” Sips lingered his voice on the last word, looking straight into Sjin’s eyes. That’s when he broke the act, throwing himself into Sips’ arms and clutching on to the CEO tightly.

“Uh, could you change back maybe? It’s kinda weird seeing you like this you know.” Sips asked. Sjin did as he said, he had forgotten what he looked like for a moment.

“I missed you Sipsy”, Sjin mumbled with a thick voice.

“I missed you too Sjinny boy”, Sips said fondly, patting Sjin on the back. Sjin pressed his lips against Sips’, something he had yearned for ever since Sips disappeared. But even though Sjin felt like he was in heaven for a second, Sips didn’t share his enthusiasm and pushed him away.

“Sjin I don’t have time for that. Why are you even here?” Sips said sternly. Sjin’s heart dropped in his chest, he hadn’t expected this response.

“I just said! I missed you and I wanted to see you again”, Sjin replied, to be honest he wasn’t even sure why he was here himself.

“Well now you have. But you don’t work here anymore nancy boy, you have your farm and I have my company to run. I mean you even have silk-shirt to help you out, the truth is we don’t need each other.” Sips explained. His words stung painfully and Sjin just wanted to sink through the floor.

“But... you said you loved me”, Sjin said quietly, avoiding looking at Sips’ face.

“Of course I do you big dumdum! I also love my mom but I don’t see her around here somewhere”, Sips replied with a softer tone and Sjin felt a bit more light-hearted.

“So Sips I thought that maybe we- Oh... Am I interrupting something?” Xephos had just walked into the dirt facility. He was met by an odd sight, the architect covered in mud, still grasping at the front of Sips’ suit, and the CEO with one arm around Sjin, standing way inside his personal space.

“Well there we have the real one at least. I wondered where you had gone”, Sips said and Xephos raised an eyebrow.

“The real one? And Sjin what are you doing here?” Xephos asked and Sjin finally let go of the other man, taking a few steps to the side.

“Well... Don’t mind Sips. And I was just, dropping by to say hi?” Sjin said, smiling awkwardly.

“He came with some soppy love confession, nothing spectacular.” Sips said smirking and Sjin could feel his cheeks turning blue.

“Oh... Is that so?” Xephos said, giving Sjin a cheeky smile.

“Maybe! What about it? Sips doesn’t want me here anyways”, Sjin replied a bit too quickly, crossing his arms in defence.

“Aw, that’s a shame. Well not everyone can be with the big guy, so don’t worry about it Sjin. Why don’t you come with me instead? I always want you, and frankly I’m good at sharing.” Xephos opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. Sjin hesitated for a moment before walking towards him.

“Okay then, I guess that could work. As long as no one gets jealous”, Sjin said. He’d had the farm before they planned going to space, and that had worked out fine, so maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Pfft, why would I get jealous of that alien? I get all the ladies, including you”, Sips replied jokingly.

“Hey! I’m not a lady”, Sjin said, pretending to be offended.

“No you’re totally the prettiest lady”, Sips said winking at Sjin.

“God! You guys!” Xephos exclaimed. Could you please stop flirting for just a second? I thought you just decided to keep to your own businesses.” Sips chuckled heartily at Xephos’ words.

“Okay, see you later you big butts”, He said before going back to his building. Sjin threw a last glance at the grey-skinned man, he’d miss the guy but at least they parted on good terms this time. Xephos put an arm around Sjin’s shoulders, guiding him out of the factory.

***

“Come on, let’s go home to the farm. You don’t need him anymore, I’ll treat you right. I mean who knows you better than I do?” Xephos said, quickly typing in the coordinates of the farm on his bracelet. Sjin sighed in agreement, it was true, he thought as they teleported back to their manor.

Who else would understand how it was to be stranded on a strange planet better than his farming alien boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [sonic-selma](http://sonic-selma.tumblr.com) for proofreading. This chapter was inspired by [this](http://masterlalna.tumblr.com/post/89560292470/sjin-morphing-into-xephos-and-going-to-the-dirt) text post by [masterlalna](http://masterlalna.tumblr.com).


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